Week 26: Casting About for an Idea


MARILYN QUAYLE as Nurse Ratched in "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" BOB DOLE as Frank in "Blue Velvet" RONALD REAGAN as Jim on "Taxi"

ROSS PEROT as Grumpy in "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs." This week's contest was proposed by Tom Gearty of Washington, who wins "Snot Nose," a rubber novelty item so appalling it cannot be further described. Tom wonders what would happen had certain individuals aspired to the stage instead of politics. Name a political person (past or present) and the TV or movie role in which he or she could have been cast. First-prize winner receives a peck of pickled peppers, a value of about $ 50. Runners-up, as always, get the coveted Style Invitational losers' T-shirts. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week 26, The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071, or fax them to 202-334-4312. Entries must be received on or before Monday, Sept. 6. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will be announced in three weeks. No purchase necessary. Employees of The Washington Post and their immediate families are not eligible for prizes. 

Report from Week 23, in which we asked you to modernize old expressions by changing their endings.

Sixth Runner-Up: How do I love thee? Let me count ... thy wage. (Joseph A. Pappano, Washington)

Fifth Runner-Up: A penny saved is a penny ... taxed retroactively effective Jan. 1, 1993, at a marginal rate of 39.6 percent, accounting for a 10 percent surtax on income over $ 250,000. (Barry Hurewitz and Ali Smiley, Washington)

Fourth Runner-Up: To be ... Press "1." Not to be, press "2." Undecided, press "3." (Terri Dann, Fairfax Station)

Third Runner-Up: Shave and a haircut, two ... hundred dollars. (Joel Kawer, Gaithersburg)

Second Runner-Up: And God saw that it was ... so-so, but went with it anyway. (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)

First Runner-Up: "I'll get you, my pretty ... and your little potbellied pig too." (Mike Thring, Leesburg)

And the winner of the ugliest clock on the face of the Earth:

He that layeth with dogs riseth with ... Fleiss. (Pamela Zilly, Alexandria)

Honorable Mentions:

The road to Hell is paved with ... Honorable Mentions. (Carol Haney McVey, Olney)

Four score and ... one plays defense. (Brendan Lane, Gaithersburg)

If it ain't broke ... your mechanic will just make up something. (Cesareo Blanco, N. Potomac)

A rose by any other name ... is probably an infringement of copyright. (Anne-Marie Da Costa, Fairfax Station)

I'd rather be right than ... secretary of housing and urban development. (Harry Richardson, Laurel)

Behind every good man ... or woman is a good woman or man. (Robin D. Grove, Washington)

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, but when ... Elvis bites an alien, that is news. (Kevin Mellema, Falls Church)

Don't put all your eggs in one ... in vitro fertilization clinic, in case lawsuits develop later on. (Tom Gearty, Washington)

Sic transit Gloria ... Steinem. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

He ain't heavy, he's my ... sister. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

It's not whether you win or lose ... it's whether you place higher than Chuck Smith, Woodbridge. (Paul Sabourin, Greenbelt) O Canada ... BOOOOOO (Kurt Larrick, Burke)

Keeping up with the Smith-Joneses (Karsten M. Brown, Front Royal)

After coitus, every animal is ... worried. (Mark Johnson, Fairfax)

I am not a ... miserable rodent of a person. (Paul Kondis, Alexandria)

Hi there! What's your ... sign-on? (Rhona Bosin, Germantown)

Is that a pickle in your pocket or ... are you having an aggressive male fantasy that degrades, oppresses and reduces me to the status of sex object? (Jim Todhunter, Silver Spring)

Don't throw the baby out ... till you've checked with the biological father. (Cindi Rae Caron, Lenoir, N.C.)

In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is ... ostracized and executed on trumped-up charges. (Cesareo Blanco, N. Potomac)

Damn the torpedoes! ... Let's set achievable military objectives, make sure the United Nations will back us up, talk to the leadership of both parties of Congress, have the Pentagon prepare contingency plans and then proceed cautiously while maintaining deniability at all costs. (Eric E. McCollum, Fairfax)

It was the best of times, it was the ... worst-case scenario. (Harry Richardson, Laurel)

That's the oldest trick in the ... disk (Robin D. Grove, Washington)

Every cloud has ... some silver nitrate. (Cynthia Sewell, Falls Church and Becky Cohen, Washington. Also, Clinton T. Gann, Falls Church)

It's like looking for a needle in a ... Pepsi. (Siraj Ali, Silver Spring) Loose lips ... can be fixed with liposuction. (Michael Bonett, Mount Airy)

And Last: But in this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes ... and references to Lorena Bobbitt's cq/er filet knife in the Style Invitational. (Jon DeNunzio, Woodbridge)

And: Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers ... then sold it to the Style Invitational, which knows a good prize when it sees one. (Mike Thring, Leesburg)

Next Week: Ask Backwards.